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Classic Definitions for Text Messages
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Atom Bomb
An invention to end all inventions.

Cigarette
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

Conference
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Classic

A book which people praise, but do not read.

Conference Room
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Dictionary

A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Divorce
Future tense of marriage

Love affairs
Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

Marriage

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman Gains her master

Lecture
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

Tears

The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.

Ecstasy

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Smile
A curve that can set a lot of things straight

Office

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. 

Etc...
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience
The name men give to their mistakes.

Philosopher

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist


A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Pessimist
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first Letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father
A banker provided by nature.

Criminal
A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Boss
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
 
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